I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
