I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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