You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My bed smells like the plague
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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