Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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