her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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