Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
