It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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