dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
