I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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