In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
