Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize