Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
nutella sex= disaster
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize