We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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