Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
