No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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