how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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