yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
