I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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