Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
