Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize