I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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