just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
