We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
