jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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