I need help removing her.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
