The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I am one with the molecules
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
