I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
