Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
