Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Randomize
