Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize