just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My butt remains clenched, sir.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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