we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
