So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
