hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
