No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize