Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So vagazzling was a success
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
