im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
