you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
