I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
