dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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