All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
