So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize