operation harelip BJ is a go
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
