I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
