i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
