I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
