Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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