This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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