Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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