You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
