worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
