i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
