I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize