Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
so much tequila, so little girl.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
