If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
