The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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