it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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