I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize