I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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