you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
