We should be called the Road Head Warriors
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So much rum. So many feels.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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